thoughts of a wanderer

immigration.

2010-05-08T19:36:00.000-07:00

ok, immigration.

i know this is a tough issue, that affects people on every level...and when i say people, i mean ALL people. it affects the illegal immigrants, the legal immigrants, and the natural citizens of the country. with all of the recent debate about the AZ law, i've been thinking about the issue and trying to evaluate where i stand. i think i have avoided it in some ways because it is a tough problem with no easy solutions. in a country where most of our politics is decided by rich politicians, who, although i know there are some who do care, most don't actually have our best interests at heart (ok, maybe they are good people or they started out caring for the people) but in reality it's about their sponsors and lobbyists and the money that comes along with power. anyways, in this country where it's easy to sit back and let law makers decide things and then either shout with joy or cuss in disgust, blaming it all on other people or "washington", we've somehow forgotten how we were intended to operate; to be involved. for the staunch republican or the hard-core democrat it's easy to take sides and scream at the other end of the spectrum, but for people like myself, sometimes it's hard to form a concrete opinion because i can (in some cases) sympathize with both sides. so now i find myself here....immigration. enough skirting. what do i really think?

i must admit that i was outraged at the law at first. words like "racial profiling", "nazism", and "control and abuse" were thrown around rampantly and yeah, i was pissed at our country for supporting something like this. most of the articles i read (or heard) from the media attacked the lawmakers and ripped the governor to shreds, and (although i'm ashamed to admit it) this was my information source. i never read the bill. yes...i was THAT person who formed an opinion without actually having the facts. i'm embarrassed. i posted a comment on a family member's blog about the bill, and when she responded to me i thought that she was for SURE wrong about it...seeing as how we typically have had different political opinions in the past, but i decided that i should probably look into the topic further before getting too offended.

typically i do take the time to do research and learn the facts before i get passionately involved and opinionated about the issue. (when that starts, there's no going back) but this time, i hadn't, and so when i did actually dedicate the time to learning more about the bill, i realized i needed to swallow my pride and admit that i got emotionally caught up in the media frenzy. in the law, i did not find racism rampant, but i did find that it was reasonable and legit. these are the major points i drew from it:

- the person(s) must already be stopped by an officer in "lawful contact". basically, you have to actually DO something before being suspected...like speeding, running a red light, or stealing a pack of cigs.

- "reasonable suspicion". this is what's been taken so out of context...ie racial profiling. however, if the person in question has a state-issued ID (like a drivers license) they are considered legal and there are no grounds for suspicion. no matter what race or language they are speaking.

- upon detained, the officers will check the immigration status of the person with the federal authorities. i know that some people may still think this is crazy, but honestly, i don't believe it is...i mean, when you get pulled over for speeding and the officer asks for your insurance card, they check are checking with another authority to see if you are legit. it's..well, sort of the same thing in my mind. either you have it or you don't. if they make the call and you're legal, you are legal and you're released.

so. after reading into it further i have taken a step back and changed my opinion on the law...i don't think it's outrageous and i don't think it's supporting racism. for one thing, people who have green cards and visas to be in this country have been required by law since the 1940's to carry it on them at all times. they can get into big trouble if they don't. i know this, mostly because my husband is not a citizen...he is a permanent resident with a green card (and carries it around in his wallet whenever he leaves the house). he shows it to people anytime they need to verify his identity...ie, signing a lease, getting a license, entering the country. i do however understand that there probably WILL be people who abuse the law and use it as an excuse to "question" hispanic citizens in arizona...but those ass holes will hopefully be few and far between, and if they are not then i think the bigger problem we have on our hands is WHY are there so many racists in our country. in addition to this, i know that there are many, many, many laws in the united states that provide loop holes for abusing people groups, genders, sexual orientation, etc...the list goes on, but we fail to recognize that the people who are engaging in racism or sexism aren't doing it because the law provides a loop hole for them to exercise is it in, but because they are distorted people with bad values...and they do it either way. it's why we see video's of white police men beating black men they've arrested for no reason. i think we need to realize that it is not this law that is the problem, but the people who will be abusing it who are. the law specifically states that it will not tolerate racism, and with Obama stepping in with the Justice Department monitoring it, i'm guessing we'll catch some ignorant person before long.

ok, enough about the AZ law. another thing i have come to realize through my thoughts on immigration, is that i DO care. half of my family is not a natural born citizen from this country, and went through the proper channels to get his green card. simply for that fact, it does affect us and it is an issue for our family. i know that it is a tough situation because you aren't just dealing with words in writing and laws on paper, you are working with peoples lives they have established...and that can hurt. i HATE that. and no, i don't think we should waltz into a families bedroom at midnight and kick them all out of the country, but i don't think that it is fair and right to ignore a growing problem. i hate saying that "american's are paying the price" for the "illegals" to use up our health care and education funds, etc, etc..because i feel like it separates us and makes us better than "them". we are, in fact, not. but...the country we love and enjoy is what it is today because of what we have all put into it. the fact of the matter is, that there are millions and millions of people who are abusing the welfare system (i have to add, legal or not here) and sending the check onto the (oh so privileged) white, working, middle class of the country, and if we continue at this rate the country we love will not be the way it is today for long. just like an individual who racks up too much debt and then declares bankruptcy when it gets out of control, so will our country (in essence) and we will all feel the affects.

i know there are exceptions to the rule, and i know that there are those who are innocent who will be hurt in the process...that brings me no joy and i do think that our government, people, and country should work through the immigration problems and solutions as compassionately as possible towards those who are living here illegally. in some ways i think if there were more moderate people speaking up about the issue, we wouldn't have such hard lines on either side and maybe our government could come up with a solution to fix the problem.

this is my piece, i might not be right, but i also might not be wrong. and if you disagree...i'm not really sorry, i know we'll love each other anyways (and hopefully can talk about, and work through our disagreement).

the beauty of birth.

2010-02-19T15:06:00.000-08:00

i've been hesitant to post this blog for a while now. it's something that in the last 2 years has become very near and dear to my heart, and so i decided to go out on a limb and share that part of me.

i have always had a passion for justice, and when i found out i was pregnant with porter, my mind was open to an array of injustices that women and babies have suffered, and still suffer today at the time of birth. when i first began to learn about pregnancy and birth, it stemmed from the excitement to welcome my first son into the world, but has since gone way beyond that. something i have learned however, is that my approach in this situation is that in order to be able to communicate effectively, i have to be sensitive and less of my usual, harsh, brash, black and white self when it comes to matters of injustice. so with that being said, i am always nervous to post my experience and opinions on the matter of birth in our culture because i want to be sensitive to all mothers who have different opinions, or who have had different (particularly unwilling or unplanned) experiences at the time of birth. so i'm offering this blog, not as judgement against those loving mommies i just mentioned, but as a huge piece of my heart to see God's design fulfilled and realized in each of our lives and experience with bringing new life into the world.

when i started learning about the medical versus midwifery model of care in prenatal care, i was extremely shocked to see how completely opposite they were, and i couldn't figure out why the medical model was so appealing to our society. Before I was pregnant I started educating myself on women's reproduction and cycles...I read alot about it and was amazed at how little women actually know about their own bodies, and how little the doctors we typically go to know. It was my opinion that we are effectively trained and schooled in the thought that "we, as women, don't know what is best for our bodies or how to control our reproduction. Our doctors do". Often, OB/GYN's and doctors consider you "infertile" or challenged at concieving if you haven't become pregnant after a year of trying - typically, they then suggest that you start fertility drugs. However, there are multiple tiny little reasons that a woman cannot conceive...sometimes as simple as having sex one day too early or late in her cycle. Don't misunderstand - I believe that we need doctors and OB's, and that some women do struggle to conceive or are unable to conceive and am extremely thankful for the capable professionals help in these situations...however, my point is that I was shocked at the misinformation that is often provided to women about their own bodies. My first question was, why don't all women and girls know this? Why aren't we taught this at a young age??? After learning more and more about the history of women's care in our culture, i now understand why women and girls do not know this.

I began my search by reading literature on the two types of care, and quickly was convinced that I wanted to deliver with a midwife. If I hadn't had access to such a great birth center at a hospital, I would have definitely tried to convince my husband that I wanted a home birth since I had such a healthy pregnancy with no complications. My childbirthing experience was incredible. It was the biggest life defining, life changing day for me. Going through the process of delivering my baby, I felt like my eyes were opened to the miraculousness of how God designed us. Everything from the physical contractions to the hormonal symphony that occurs during labor and birth was amazing to me. What was also amazing to me was working with my midwife as if it was a perfectly healthy, normal event that happens every day, every where, but is also unique to every single woman. I once heard that birth changes a woman, whether you want it to or not...it is either an incredibly empowering experience, one that makes you scale a wall that you thought was impassable, or it is an incredibly scarring and terrifying experience.

In contrast with my experience, I am extremely frustrated by the perception of pregnancy and childbirth that I think has been directly fabricated over the past 200 years in Western medicine by doctors and leaders to make women believe that we cannot do what our bodies are designed to do. In 1900 more than 99% of all births took place at home, by 1940 only 50% of births took place in hospital, and today - only .5% take place in the home in the US. Since 1900 more and more doctors were trained as OB/GYNS and needed jobs...in the 1920's, doctors in essence launched a Smear Campaign against midwives calling their methods "dirty" and ancient, and promoting hospitals as clean and prestine...when in fact at the time it was MUCH safer to deliver at home than in a hospital because at the time they had not discovered a way to stop the spread of bacteria from patient to patient. By the 1940's and 50's, women were routinely given drugs to make them unconscious, put in straight jackets and tied down with lambs wool in order not to interfere with the doctor's "delivery", and the baby was typically pulled out forcefully with forceps. Women were also put on all sorts of pills and medicines throughout their pregnancy which at the time, were thought to prevent complications, but in the end ended up causing much bigger complications such as babies to be born without arms and legs. Keep in mind that many of the predominant thinking in obstetrics today still stems from teachers and dominant thought during this era. Things like "24 hour delivery within membrane rupture" (because of infection), the "average" amount of time women need to labor and birth before it is necessary to intervene, early umbilical cord clamping, routine episiotomy, suctioning the newborns lungs, and whisking them off to "clean" the baby before letting them bond and breastfeed were all established during the 1960's. This not only occured in the beginning the 1900's - in the 1990's women were given a drug (without being tested at all or FDA approved for labor induction, it was used off label) called Cytotec which ended up causing hundreds of ruptured uteruses and death in infants and mothers. This link wasn't researched and discovered until 1999. Now days - women are commonly given the drug Pitocin, a synthetic version of Oxytocin, to speed up delivery - often unnecessarily, and an array of other drugs...epidurals, narcotics, etc etc. Many people argue that these advances and interventions are some of the best and most developed in the world, thus why they are so widely used....yet, the united states is ranked as one of the worst in maternal death rates in the developed world - of which is at it's highest point that it has been in decades. Not to mention that our C-Section rate is THE highest in the developed world - 1 in 3. I am not arguing that progression in medicine is a bad thing and that there are in fact women who do not need these things...there ARE and they HAVE saved mothers and babies lives. However, 90% of all pregnancy and birth are normal and healthy events, only 10% of pregnancies need the interventions so commonly given today. I think we need to stop and reevaluate, and ask: is what we are doing improving the outcomes on the lives of women, or hindering the optimum for them?

My problem is this: 1) the history of ob/childbearing interventions in the united states over the last 100 years has time and time again proved that there is little research done on prenatal drugs, diagnostic tests, and birth intervention until it is too late and too many lives have been affected, and 2) that it is NOT woman and child centered. I think when a woman enters the typical hospital there are issues after issues stacked up against her, preventing her from the natural birth that is best for her and her child - even beginning with dealing with insurance, making it impossible for her to deliver her child how she needs or wants to, not how money dictates, a doctor wants to, or what is most convenient for other people. Why don't people ask the most basic question "what are women's needs in labor?" Why don't people recognize the results of cheating women in the process of their birth? Women do not need to be treated like they are sick, strapped into beds with IV's, unable to move around to progress their labor...they need to be empowered and loved, made to feel strong and capable, and a part of the miraculous event that their bodies are perfectly capable of.

When I hear stories of women who have felt completely helpless at their births, or those who had an idea of the miracle moment that would occur at birth and were robbed because of an unnecessary c-section, or see babies on a table with bright lights surrounded by strangers, desperately seeking the comfort of their mother, it breaks my heart and i just want to be a part of fixing the broken system. I want to be a part of empowering women and creating joy and life and confidence at their births. It is amazing what a woman can accomplish when she is surrounded by people who believe in her, and i think it's time we all stepped up together and demanded more from our hospitals, our health care providers, our law makers, and our system of belief.

Seven Factoids.

2010-02-04T13:57:00.000-08:00

For you Liz...I forgot, but you reminded me. :)

Seven Random Facts about Me

1) i'm completely and totally addicted to Burts Bees chapstick with peppermint. if i go out without it, i usually buy a new one because i can't stand being without it.

2) i love pregnant women...when i see them, even if i don't know them, i just want to talk to them...become friends, and then be their doula. haha.

3) i love to cook...but when i do i want to make awesome meals. if i can't, i'd rather just eat frozen pizza.

4) at 15, i wore fishnets, big black boots, and short plaid skirts and went to punk rock concerts and moshed with the big boys. yeah....not so sure why i thought that was so cool.

5) i worked at a movie store for one day, and never went back.

6) if i had the opportunity to do anything i wanted this year, i would go on an all inclusive vacation to a beach with my hubby, for a week - just us, sun, drinks, food, and fun. we've only been on a handful of dates since porter was born - so i kinda miss him.

7) i've recently become obsessed with the shows "16 and pregnant" and "teen mom". parts of the shows break my heart for these immature kids and innocent babies, and then i love it because of the amazing bravery and maturity others show. catelyn and tyler are my favorites. (i know, it's on MTV).

now, repost 7 facts about yourself because i'd like to know them.

traps.

2010-01-25T19:22:00.000-08:00

last week i went to a gathering of sorts of people in our community called the community meal experience. it is a once a month event, the whole family comes for a meal with friends, and then we break up into men's and women's groups in separate houses for a time of sharing. a couple of close friends of ours had started it up last fall, so of course we wanted to start attending, and this last week was the first month we had been back for since moving home. i was excited to start going - all of the people who both created the gathering, and who attended it, i respected and loved...however, in general, i must admit that i am a bit of a skeptic when it comes to "church" activities. i've been a part of children's church, youth groups, different denominations, worship "experiences", rallies, and (what seems to me) every cool new community type event that has become popular in the last decade. as most of you know, i also grew up in missions, traveling the developing world at a young age, and then became passionate about sustainable development...i'm coming to realize that all of this combined to create a very confusing spiritual journey for me. you see, it is difficult to try to reconcile people here at home (in the USA) claiming "God's will, his destinies for us, victory in Jesus, and being so blessed" and then be walking into villages where aids is rampant, children starve every day, families share a one room shack, and women walk barefoot to gather dirty water for their kids. especially at a young age, it did not add up for me that these two cultures and types of people could be serving the same God. although i was incredible blessed with amazing parents who helped me navigate through this the best they could (i truly could never ask for better guidance), my soul felt cheated in some way - like i was desperately trying to believe in that fairy tale that you were told as a young girl, and now you've figured out that it just can't be true. in the fairy tale, people shouted that God is good and he takes care of us. they all drove new cars and lived in clean homes. they shopped in grocery stores where they never thought twice about where the food comes from, and they fall asleep knowing with certainty that their child would be ok the next morning. in my reality, i knew better. i knew that there were people with no food. there were little children who had no shoes. this was my spiritual dilemma during childhood.....for these reasons, and many more, i have become skeptical about not only "church" activities, but about my own faith in general. i haven't figured it all out yet, i am still searching for answers.

....back to the point.

as a self proclaimed skeptic i've grown a lot in the past few years of adulthood, and am definitely less angsty towards the western church...and have even learned to embrace it. :). but in a lot of ways, it's still the same old me. i don't know, maybe i felt like i was above the book studies and women's workbooks that i'd experienced so many times before because i'd seen so much beyond them. i know, i know. i sound completely selfish and prideful. this is just me being honest with you, and myself. but either way, i loved the carter and kofahls, respected them both, and knew that i would enjoy and learn from being in the presence of so many like minded individuals.

the night of the dinner, stefan was exhausted from work and porter was tired, so they both stayed home, but i decided i wanted to go and support my people, and off i went to the community meal experience. a very wise woman, Gayle, ended up sharing that evening with the women. she is a little older than i am, and although i don't know her very deeply, every time i looked at her i have always seen a very beautiful and wise woman. when she started sharing, she surprised me with her honesty and brokenness, and i know that all of us in the room felt incredibly blessed and humbled to be a part of those moments. she shared with us her life journey, the hard times, and portions of what had shaped her into the woman she is today. something she shared really stuck out to me, and that was about the traps that we find ourselves falling into, again and again. today i was feeling sorry for myself, i remembered her words...and it had me wondering what my traps were that i find myself in.

#1. loneliness.

i don't know if everyone feels alone, or lonely, often - but i do. i don't honestly know why either. i have a great husband who cares about us, an adorable son who i really can't get rid of (other than nap time) ;), and many friends who - deep down - i know love me and care about me. however, it seems that any time i start to feel slightly insecure about myself, i feel like the world - and all of my friends - don't really love me, and don't really want to spend time with me. (ridiculous, i know.) goal: to try and figure out where this insecurity stems from and i why i seem to find myself falling into this trap, more often than not.

#2. anger.

when i get upset, you probably don't want to be on my bad side. i can hold a grudge like no bodies business, and i will let you know when you cross my line. (again, sorry about the honesty - enough people have told me, so i know it must be true.) i'm also a bit of a control freak...and because there are so many things in this world that you cannot control (read:nearly everything), i get angry about it a lot. i get angry about the worlds poverty and pain, about my own and my neighbors role in it, about people who hurt my friends, and about how helpless i feel to change much of it. i've come to realize in recent months though, that i think this is the enemies way of crippling me and keeping me from taking part in the good. if i am paralyzed by anger and frustration, i cannot be effective in communicating hope and change (not meant to be an obama ad) to those who need it the most.

#3. what if, what could have been.

if i hadn't spent that money, i could....

if i'd stayed in school, then....

i wonder if i had done this...

life is full of what if's and what could have beens...if you let yourself imagine them. if life's journey was a picture, it would be a tree. there are always branches where you make decisions, more than one result that could have been possible, and more than one destination. my problem is often that i find myself thinking of the "what's, then's, and when's" too often. don't get me wrong - i love my life. i wouldn't trade it if you offered me anything in the world. no, it's not my life i would change, it's often the little things i would change if i could. like the money. or the degree. mostly things that would make life easier.....but i am realizing that life is never easier. you may have more money, but it doesn't mean that you are more content. or what do i know, maybe it is easier and i've just never had the money and the house and the car, so i don't know - but either way, i'm done trying to wonder if it could have been.

although most of this sounds like babble, i've connected the dots in a new way this week. when i went to the carter's last week, i wasn't expecting to make a grounding discovery in my shaky spiritual journey. but i did. i mean come on, of all the places i have been - to be in lafayette, colorado and to put together a piece of my puzzle that never seemed to fit before? yes, God always seems to find a way to prove me wrong. and although i may still be navigating and trying to decipher what are our fairy tails and what should be our realities, i'm so glad that i'm not above a wednesday night church group, and that i can be surprised by it - by beautiful and wise women, and by God - even if i don't expect it or understand it.

the new me.

2010-01-15T09:33:00.001-08:00

i used to be an avid blogger. i've always loved to write - in a different life i may have dreamed of filling pages of books with stories and thoughts, however; in the last year my writing fell by the wayside as i transitioned from an office manager with many extra hours of free time into becoming the mother of an infant who has quickly turned into a very busy and energetic little boy, and a full time pre nursing student. every time i visited my old blog(s) and read my posts, there was always a twinge of sadness...not only do i love to write, but (as most of my family and close friends can attest) i chose to use my blogs as an outlet for my ideas, dreams, and opinions of things i am most passionate about. i have often felt like i have let go of part of myself by not blogging this past year, since i've been writing consistently for about a decade now....so when we decided to move back to colorado and i knew i would be taking several months off of school, i decided that i needed to push myself back into reclaiming my passion for writing again. with no anatomy flashcards to study or physics tests to stress me out, i hope to have more time to dedicate to sharing my thoughts, passions, and sometimes direct opinion with those who choose to read me.

once i found my old password and was able to log into my account again, i spent some time going over my thoughts from previous years. reading old blogs is sort of like unlocking an old diary and looking into a mirror of who you used to be. sometimes i blush a little at my brashness, roll my eyes at my immaturity, and every once in a great while i am proud of myself for who i've been, and the things i've stood for. the first thing i noticed this time around was the title of my page: "thoughts of a wanderer". my first instinct was to click "edit" and change my title, because it is obviously more of a representation of who i once was rather than who i am today...someone who changed location and moved a lot (although i did recently move cross country twice in one year...), someone whose thoughts were always wandering the globe, obsessed with global development and how we were all interconnected, a version of me who had no idea what was coming - that in two short years I, genae, would actually be settled down in the suburbs of colorado, at home full time with my son, cleaning up toys from the living room, watching "baby einstein", folding laundry, and holding onto a dream of someday helping women and babies in birth. yes; a lot has changed in the past few years for me, and when i saw "wanderer" i realized i am not much of a wanderer anymore. my life is fairly predictable and i strive more for stability than the unexpected now - but in light of that, i am choosing to keep my title so that it will remind me that although i may be physically confined to my 3 bedroom townhouse most days, loving on my son and doing what seems unimportant to most of the world, i want to remind myself to not forget that part of me that cares so much for the world afar, and that my blog can be an outlet for my wandering thoughts and crazy opinions that i'm unable to talk about on a daily basis.

and so this is the beginning of something new. i look forward to journeying with all of you.

2008-03-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

it is hard to believe that my trip has come and gone, and i find myself once again sitting at my desk at work....wondering where the time went.

although i was quite busy for the entirety of my trip, and even upon return i feel like time has slipped through my fingers, i probably could have had time to update at least one more blog. yet, in all honesty i found it difficult to express my true thoughts and feelings out loud about the trip - i knew that i would feel emotionally exhausted if i tried to find the the words.

before leaving for Cambodia, i think that all three of us involved felt like it would be an incredible journey and experience...not only for Who Cares? as an organization, but also for each of us individually. having never met michelle before the trip, knowing her now and watching her experience the people of Cambodia, i am encouraged and thrilled at her passion for sharing what she knows and becoming and ambassador for those without a voice. i think that Who Cares? will continue doing "exposure" trips for people much like michelle - i think that it is a wonderful idea, to promote awareness and global responsibility by allowing people to experience developing nations and sustainable development first hand. it also encouraged me alittle - at times i feel like the western evangelical church is a lost cause. i know that is a very inclusive statement - i don't mean that all christians are selfish and don't care about others, but at times i feel like the church as a whole, and sometimes myself included has really missed the boat. when i examine the lifes of Cambodian christians, i'm ashamed of who we are here in America. there was a man in Poipet the same time as us, his name was John and he worked for Tear Australia, a Christian NGO working to change and prevent global poverty. i was glad to spend time with him, he was a great person to get to know, and we talked alot about the development work that Tear is involved with. however it was interesting because, everyday CHO's staff gathers at their headquarters to have devotionals and worship together. on the day that John shared, he explained that part of his job with Tear was to "travel and speak at churches, convincing them that we should help people in poverty." i thought it was quite ironic, and couldn't help but look around at the faces of the CHO workers who all live by much less than we do. i thought it was ironic because i couldn't help but think back to the previous day when i had been engaged in conversation with several of the CHO workers, and they had been relaying to me that they realized a long time ago that their Christianity and faith was irrelevant unless they actually helped change peoples daily lives. this is why CHO has been so successful and such an incredible ministry throughout the Poipet region - Cambodian families lives have been transformed, they can now provide for themselves and their families and are no longer living in hopelessness.

it was exciting to see the projects and initiatives the CHO has started in Poipet...one is called Carpets for Communities. Carpets for Communities is a practical approach to reducing child labor and vulnerability to child trafficking in Poi Pet, Cambodia which empowers mothers to send their children to school through the production and sale of one-of-a-kind, hand-hooked carpets. PLEASE please check out their website...i love the work they do and what it is doing for the community. Aiyana and I have discussed starting a similar outlet for the CHO Sewing initiative, where we would start a similar business venture outlet here in the states to allow the CHO graduates to sell their clothes for a fair wage here in CO and NY. i'm really excited about these ideas and hope that they can really take root....

Siem Reap was much different than Poipet - most obviously, you can see the economical influence of tourism. being at the temples was an incredible experience. not only are they majestic and just incredibly detailed, there is a definite spiritual sense there, and i found it it very peaceful and a great place to spend in contemplation. i think alot of the direction that i felt from the trip came from those days in Siem Reap.

to finish this post, i'll include a few pictures of my time in Cambodia - for more pictures visit here and here.

talk. politics.

2008-02-21T14:57:00.001-08:00

Lately, with all of the primaries going on, and the political talk that has been increasingly heated over the last six months - I've found out a lot about the people vying for the nominations, and the people who are voting them into office.

I consider myself to be a fairly aware citizen of the United States. I do my best to educate myself on issues concerning the nation and people around the world. I admit that I don't know everything there is to know about politics, I still have a lot to learn, however - one of my biggest annoyances is when people run their mouths off about politics and political candidates when they have no idea what they are talking about. Regardless of whether they are acting in support of, or against a certain political party - it's simple people, don't open your mouth and give your opinion unless it is an educated one and you have taken the time to learn about policies and issues. don't be liberal because it's cool and don't be conservative to grow against the grain.

I have also become acutely aware that for the general public, most people are single or two issue voters. Most people find one or two issues that they have an opinion for, and that is why they vote for certain candidates. I have also found that the majority of the time, these issues are "simple answer" issues....take gay marriage, for a conservative voter, the answer is easy "NO". take healthcare...for a liberal citizen, the answer is "universal healthcare". easy enough right? take abortion...either side it is easy to answer, pro life or pro choice. Unfortunately, most people pick one or two of the most popular issues on each side and that is what they base their votes off of. I'm not saying I completely blame people for this, or that I am guilt free in this area - generally speaking, most people need an emotional or immediate connection with something in order to actually take action. However, I still consider it unfortunate for all of us because I think we could have a lot stronger and better government if we were more than "single" issue voters. take the issue of abortion for example.....

one of the biggest issues within conservative circles is that of abortion. the sanctity of life. a lot of people vote based solely on this issue.....don't misunderstand me, I am not trying to say that people should not vote with this in mind, however I find it unfortunate when people look at a candidate, discover that they are pro life (versus the other politician being pro choice) and they immediately decide who's side they are taking when that particular person could have terrible policies in every other area regarding the sanctity and rights of life. "pro-life" all too often just means protecting the right of a child to be born...and neglects that life after it is brought into this world. healthcare for children and mothers, education and opportunity, safety here and abroad, war...these are all issues that deal with the sanctity of life, yet why are they considered less important? why is it not considered worth our "christian" time to deal with the issues of genocide and starvation and the AIDS epidemic of millions of people globally, yet it IS somehow worth our time and efforts to stop abortion here? i consider myself pro life, but not just when it comes to abortion....pro life means caring for all life, those who are abused, left unprotected, and cast aside by the many. I cannot consciously vote for candidates who have terrible policies in issues such as health care and education solely based on the fact that they are pro life.

i understand that everyone, including me, has their "issues" that are most important....however, i'm just honestly so tired of people hating or loving a candidate based on one issue that they heard about. how can this country truly improve if the citizens aren't willing to step up and really take part in the government? sick of war? tired of the healthcare problems? annoyed with the economy? hate big business?

do something about it.

Purple Martini

2008-02-19T10:30:00.001-08:00

here are just a few pictures of everyone out at Jill's birthday party at the Purple Martini in Boulder. The first is of Jill and I (the birthday girl) and the whole group of us that went out. Thanks to half price happy hour - I was able to try an array of tasty martini's, such as Raspberry Lemondade and a Peach Martini. I usually am not willing to spend $10 on a drink i'm not positive that I will like. all in all, it was a lovely evening - i enjoyed being out with the ladies! it was the first time in a long time that liz was able to go out with us since little harper made his appearance, so i enjoyed having my friend "back". I have to say that i have been tremendously blessed by moving here and being able to meet all of these amazing women. when i left connecticut, i was convinced that i would never find friends like i was leaving behind....dovon, courtney, ricci...these women were my family, like my sisters. 7 months into living here - and i have found so many amazing friends, not all of whom i am in the exact same place in life with, or who i share everything in common with, but that regardless i am connecting with them, growing in friendship, and learning from them. not that i have replaced my "old" friends, i'm not really ever looking to....i'm just pleasantly blessed and surprised that i've found so many amazing friends here in colorado.

so here's to ladies nights, laughter, and dancing at 'round midnight in boulder with my "new" friends.

...

2008-02-13T11:47:00.000-08:00

two weeks from friday and i'll be headed out of the united states....

luckily i was able to book my flights to bangkok with Aiyana and Michelle - the two other women going on the trip. I originally thought that I would have to make the trip alone, and then meet up with them once I arrived in Thailand. Thank goodness that I don't have to! I was looking at a multiple stop ticket and a ten hour layover in Korea by myself....not ideal really. Well it worked out financially and time wise to travel with them, yay! So the tickets are booked....now all I need is to get my name change done on my passport and my typhoid shot. Thankfully, Denver is one of very few locations in the US that you can walk into a building and get your passport back in the same day...the only problem is that it is in south east denver. the exact opposite side from where we live....and since I can't really take another day off of work, I have to go down and fill out the paper work one day, and then drive back and pick it up another day. ugh. just what i want to do...drive an hour each way twice in one week.....not to mention i'll have to maneuver the giant sinkhole that's formed in I25. wish me luck i suppose.

tomorrow night for valentines day we are spending the evening with three of our close friends/couples. instead of each going out, we are getting together and cooking dinner together and drinking wine, while the guys do "man things" and drink beer in the living room. :) then we will just all hang out for the evening....steef and i also decided that instead of buying eachother something we didn't need, we are going to pick two different organizations and donate money to them instead.....i think we have settled on Love146 and then purchasing an item for a family through Heifer. Maybe some chickens or something. :)

i hope everyone has a wonderful valentines day together.

...and we're off.

2008-01-25T10:32:00.000-08:00

finally, after 7 months of living in colorado - i am going to take a trip over to the western slope and visit my grandma. since october, at least once a month i have planned a trip, but for some reason or another - it's been canceled.

well this time, it is actually happening. halen and i are going to get in the new elantra and jet over the mountain for a quick weekend visit. i always get excited about trips, even if they are only 5 hours each direction...there's something about driving with a friend into the open. i suppose that technically we won't be driving into an open road, rather a string of mountain passes.

hopefully the snow will decide not to engulf the mountains and we will have a safe and easy drive. i knew i shouldn't invested in chains.....i'm still trying to decide if we should bring jaxon or not. i guess if we got stuck he could sniff out help. ;)

disgust.

2008-01-23T08:24:00.001-08:00

i am continually baffled by ignorance. i am continually shocked at how isolated people make themselves.

it is estimated that 45,000 people die every month in the Democratic Republic of the Congo - since 1998 over 5,000,000 people have been killed, many from preventable conditions that have been brought on because of the war. that staggering number is the largest amount of people to be killed since the second world war. yet, where is everyone? why does no one know...and worse yet, why does no one care?

we cried for justice when 9/11 occured. we were horrified by the effects of katrina.

thousands of women, children, families, and innocent men die everyday because of greed, selfishness, and hatred....yet the world stands by and does nothing.

isn't it about time we all raised a collective voice of change? it makes me sick.

http://mediastorm.org/0022.htm

a. to z.

2008-01-22T15:31:00.001-08:00

just because there's nothing better to do at this very moment.

A] - available?
for tea?

B] - birthday?
november 23

C] - crushing?
only on my hubby

D] - drink?
a microbrew

E] - easiest person to talk on the phone with?
dovon

F] - favorite color[s]?
olive green

G] - gummy bears or gummy worms?
sour patch kids

H] homework?
oh the days without a life

I] ice cream?
french silk (they don't sell it in colorado....that's strike 1)

J] A word/phrase u say very often
freak of nature!!!

K] Killed some one?
that would be...a negative.

L] - Lime or lemonade?
lime and logger.

M] - Love or Money?
loverly.

N] - number?
7

O] - One wish?
that i would be able to raise all of the money needed for cambodia.

P]- person you last texted?
dovon and liz

Q] - Quiet?
sometimes very. i'm usually way to quiet or way to talkative - i very rarely land somewhere in the middle.

R] - Reason you smile?
stefan.

S] - song you last heard?
Wish I by Jem

T] Time you woke up today?
6:56

U] - up or down
both

V] - favorite Veggy?
asparagus or artichokes...can't decide.

W] - worst habbit?
speaking my mind before thinking about it

X] - ever had X-RAYS?
yes

Y] - your number of friends on myspace?
somewhere around...alot.

Z]- zodiac sign?
sagitarius (is that how it's spelled)

Home.

2008-01-08T08:30:00.000-08:00

it's amazing how fast time goes by. lately i have often found myself wondering where the hours, days, and weeks go. at times it seems they are over as quickly as they begin. yesterday was our six month anniversary from our wedding....and one year ago today, we were leaving Middleburg for Paris to get engaged. sometimes i think that it has to be more than that due to the amount of events that have happened over the last 12 months....but other times i wonder how it has already been another year.

a friend asked me on saturday what my hopes or goals were for 2008....i didn't know how to respond simply because, at this moment, i have given up "planning" life. if anyone would have told me 2 years ago where i would be now - i probably would have laughed in their face, yet here i am....so this year, i won't even try to imagine all the things to come.

sunday was stefan and i's 2nd oikos meeting. as i sat and looked at the faces around the room, i realized how familiar they each were. not only did i recognize the faces, but i knew stories behind them. i knew who people were and why they were in that room.....we were home. when did that happen? when did strangers become acquaintances and acquaintances become friends?

we're finally home.

He's Finally Here!

2007-12-31T09:00:00.000-08:00

Harper Ryan was born at 11:12 AM on December 28th, weighing in at 8 lbs 6 ounces, and 21 inches long......

it was the most amazing experience i have ever been a part of. it was so amazing, after all these months of being a part of liz's pregnancy, to be a part of his life when he came into the world. i love him so much already!

we headed to the hospital on thursday afternoon at 3, only to be turned back home 3 hours later because she wasn't progressing very far.....an hour later, we were on our way back to boulder to check liz in for good......she ended up having a few complications, and was in labor all night long, although she got an epidural so she wasn't in so much pain throughout the night.....stefan and i headed home around 1:30AM from the hospital, only to be woken up by Ricci and Jeremy (who had driven through the day and night to get there from Missouri) at 3:30 to head back to Liz's side......Poor stefan had to wait in the waiting room all by himself, since the rest of us ladies and Jordan were in with Liz.....she went into hard labor around 8:30 AM and he was born a few hours later. When he finally made his appearance, we were all in tears - and a few hours later when I held him for the first time, I again was a sap and had to cry....it was just so beautiful!

Thankfully everyone is healthy, well and safe, and the Lewis family is back at home for a small new years celebration tonight. Evan and Madison are making their way here for a few days....so it will be a fun time of catching up and enjoying a new year.

Happy 2008 Everyone!

(pictures of the beautiful boy i'm sure will be following soon)

christmas day

2007-12-27T11:58:00.000-08:00

christmas, christmas.

it was a lovely, low key day. it snowed non-stop for the most part, which made for an enjoyable White Christmas.

Jax enjoyed the snow. :) he runs and jumps and bites at the snow.....what a great life he has.

i got several of my favorite things for christmas - atop the list were a pair of converse, a memoir by Wangari Matthai, and a season of the Office. who wouldn't love that? We also had far too much good food, and went to see Juno. I really liked it - but then again, i'd also been looking forward to it since this summer.

Still waiting on Harper to come....Liz has been having contractions for some time, but not too far progressed yet...she is scheduled to be induced on Friday night/Saturday morning - so unless he decides to make an appearance before then, i'll be spending my weekend in a delivery room! i'm excited to be with liz and jordan and see their first baby born......

today was my first day back to work and i awoke to a terrible snow storm...of course i had JUST finished cleaning off my car from tuesday's storm, and had huff and puff and scrape yet again at 7 am. what normally takes 20 minutes took me an hour and a half to get to work today....ugh. i've heard rumors that we will be closing early (at noon) today, which would be just fabulous.....i'm crossing my fingers, though no "official" word yet. everyone hope with me now!

i think i'll be adding a few pictures soon......

the new me.

2007-12-27T11:52:00.000-08:00

i thought, on account of the fact that all of my in-laws and family, and many many friends are blogspot fans....i would create my own account and begin posting so that we can all be friends.

love to all.